Assignment 1: Formal Letter (Descriptive Reflection)
Dear Professor Brad
I am Teo Rue Hong from your effective communication class (T3) and the purpose of this email is to give you my self-introduction. I
graduated from Temasek Polytechnic with a diploma in integrated facility
management. I majored in the hospitality sector and it ignited my passion for
pursuing a degree in the sustainable infrastructure engineering (building services) programme offered by the Singapore Institute of Technology.
During my polytechnic days, I was
fortunate enough to be given the chance to work at The Ritz-Carlton Millenia
Singapore. I have discovered my strength in communication will be my ability to
strike a conversation with people of all backgrounds. Having worked at The
Ritz-Carlton Millenia Singapore, I learned to be comfortable and professional
while conversing with my guests. I have spoken to guests of various
nationalities throughout my 5 months of internship.
As for my weakness, it will have to be
in the form of writing. I tend to over summarise any information given to me. I
like to keep my writings concise which ends up sabotaging my content.
I wish to better hone my writing skills
through this learning journey. In addition, I aim to understand the structures of a good
summary, in the hope that I will become precise and prevent myself from
conveying any misinformation. I wish to also elevate my ability to sustain a
longer conversation on a professional level.
Back in The Ritz-Carlton Millenia
Singapore, I was groomed by professional working adults who put service above
all. I was empowered to create memorable experiences for my guests at all
costs. Through that, I have successfully overcome different language barriers
with my guests, which differentiates me from many others.
I believe that effective communication
is already an imperative in modern society. I look forward to learning the
ropes from you.
Best regards
Teo Rue Hong
Effective communication (T3)
Hi Rue Hong! Thank you for sharing your experience back when you were interning. I can't spot any flaws in your letter and I find your contents most interesting
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteHi Rue Hong! I'm a little envious that you got to work in Ritz-Carlton! I like the way you organised your letter, it has a systematic flow to it.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Rue. I'll give more detailed feedback once some of your comrades have commented (more substantially).
ReplyDeleteDear Teo Rue Hong,
ReplyDeleteMy name is Clement Ten, and I attend the same effective communication class as you. While reading your letter, I realized that we both share similar working experiences. What you faced during your time in The Ritz-Carlton Millenia Singapore was similar to what I experienced in the days where I worked in a café-bar.
In my humble opinion, I think that your letter has good organization and content. You brought out your message with a logical flow. To be specific on the content, I like that you elaborated sufficiently on your points. An example would be when you elaborated on your strength of being able to be adaptable and professional in your speech. You went on to elaborate that it was through the professionals around you, that this strength was cultivated. As for the language use of your letter, I would say that the vocabulary used was very courteous to the recipient, and the word choice was good.
Overall, I would say this is a good letter. Thank you for your time.
With regards,
Clement Ten
Hi Clement
DeleteThank you for the kind words!
Regards
Rue Hong
Dear Rue Hong,
ReplyDeleteI've read your formal letter and I think that it is written really well. The flow of the letter is organized very well, every paragraph has a motive behind it. I also liked that you shared your working experiences with us which to some of us, its relatable.
I like the detailed explanation of your strengths and weaknesses, this actually shows that you have a goal to work on for this module.
I feel like after reading this letter I am able to know you even better and I hope that your strengths will continue to push you forward and your weakness becomes your strength!
Best regards,
Junying
Hi Junying
DeleteThank you for your kind feedback! I believe there will always be room for improvements. I hope I will be able to post more captivating content!
Regards
Rue
Dear Rue Hong
ReplyDeleteIt was heartwarming to read your introduction and the organisation of your letter is great. I am honestly jealous of your intern experience at the hotel as it is a big opportunity for anyone to build connections in the industry.
Nonetheless, like you have mentioned, writing is your weakness and it shows. In your introduction, you mentioned that "I major in the hospitality sector.." and I think that you meant "I majored in the hospitality sector.." since it was in the past. Honestly, I do not see the connection between majoring in the hospitality sector and igniting your passion in engineering or even this course because they are kind of in two different industry. What I believe was missing was that maybe a certain experience that you had there ignited the passion for engineering inside you.
In the second paragraph, you mentioned about the experience you had as an intern. Well elaborated but there were some grammar mistakes in it such as "I have discovered my strength in communication will be my ability to strike a conversation with people of all backgrounds." --> "My ability to strike a conversation with people of all backgrounds was a strength that I discovered."
In general, I managed to learn more about you and that the hotel experience was a big deal for you. I look forward to getting to know you more and to discover the hidden skills that you have learnt while you were there and to grow together with you throughout this journey that we will share together during this module.
Regards
Nadia
Hi Nadia
DeleteThank you for taking the time to write me your inputs! I believe with all the guidance from my peers that I will be able to refine my written communication.
Regards
Rue
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteDear Rue,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this clear concise letter. You address the key requirements of the assignment and add just enough detail for color. I welcome the fluency of ideas and your confidence that our module can help you learn 'the ropes' in communication. You experience working in the hotel line has provided you with quite a bit of learning already. We'll work on 'polishing' in this module.
As one example, you've also received useful feedback from your peers in this letter. Be sure to acknowledge all your peers' input so as to show that extra umph in social etiquette.
In terms of language use, this post shows lots of fluency. A couple minor issues are as follows:
1. word use or phrasing
-- semester group 3 > ?
-- I major in the hospitality sector > (verb tense issue)
2. needs for some cohesive device/transition
-- I wish to better hone my writing skills through this learning journey. I aim to understand the structures of a good summary, in the hope that I will become precise and prevent myself from conveying any misinformation. I wish to also elevate my ability to sustain a longer conversation on a professional level.
> (I did mention that students tend to overuse transitions, but that was not to suggest that you shouldn't ever use them. :) )
I look forward to learning more from you this term.
Cheers,
Brad
Dear Professor Brad
DeleteThank you for taking the time to share with me your inputs!
I've read through the comments and advices on my formal letter. I will be sure to refine my work. I hope that at the end of this module, I will become a better writer.
Regards
Rue